I Know Nothing
Issue #7 January 2024
Considering the challenges of 2023, I want to share some of the things I have learned about filmmaking this year. These are offered with no sense of authority and I am sure they will be challenged/forgotten many times over in 2024 as I embark on a jam-packed year of filmmaking.
I know nothing. I often look at the road ahead and wonder how all the people I admire got there. In my less assured moments, this wondering turns to self-loathing, and a desire to skip ahead and just know. But the more I listen to those ahead of me, the more I understand that none of us know, we are learning, all learning. And the only way to let those lessons in is to make room for them by letting myself not know.
Much of art making is looking for money. For the art and for survival. I spent most of 2023 looking for work and applying for funding opportunities. While there were times it felt draining, I got into a rhythm and honed my writing skills. Some tides have begun to turn and I can’t wait to share them with you.
Just because you say it’s the final thing, doesn’t mean it has to be. In fundraising for various projects I often have to pitch something as if it already exists in its final form, knowing full well that as the money comes in and the project materializes, it will change form. We should all be capable of holding the potential for something as truth and then letting go as it becomes itself.
Other people have information. I have experienced some of the greatest magic this year working in collaboration with others, so I try to remember to let people share themselves with me. Letting myself say, “I don’t know what that is/means.” Or asking, “What do you think?” Allows for the expansion of a project.
Values aren’t just words. As I work to apply for funding opportunities, the applications ask again and again, who are you? And slowly, as I write, a clarity emerges around my desire for care practices in filmmaking. Care can look millions of ways. But I ended 2023 with a recommitment to making care one of the guiding forces in my work and actually practicing it.
Clarity can be an act of care. Every day I remind myself: Try to articulate it. If it doesn’t make sense, try again. People really do want to help, so make sure you are telling them what you envision so they can help you get there. This reframing around clarity has been really useful when applying for funding. I know I am not the only one who gets prickly around certain clarifying questions in applications or interviews, wishing I could just let my work speak for itself. To soothe the prickling I tell myself that the people asking are not in my head and they are just looking for a way to understand better how they can help. If I withhold clarity, I am not reciprocating the care being offered to me.
Solidarity is an extraordinary force in this world. I cannot ignore the effects of being alive for the historic labor actions of 2023 within the entertainment industry, and the fight for Palestinian liberation. These fights are calls to clarify our values and our priorities. This directly affects the way I think about how I make work, and support the work of others, in the face of historic and extremely powerful forces of oppression that often ask us to mold our visions, dreams, and rights into consumable forms that ultimately most benefit those in power.
Film Update
I was invited to be a Winter 2024 Guest Resident at the Woodward Residency in Ridgewood, Queens. This immense honor is such a great gift to the project, offering me the space and time to work on Paper Ties. While at the Woodward Residency, I plan to work on putting together a teaser for the film which will open up more funding opportunities for the project!
Submissions
If you want to submit to Gender Appropriate send me an email at posle@substack.com
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Editor // Ezra Rose
Ez is a filmmaker. Reach out for all of your directing, producing, and DEI consulting needs!
It’s exciting to hear the progress you’re making. Keep going, one step at a time, and know there is an audience hungry to embrace your film when it’s ready.